going into the wilderness

what is the sound of just your own voice...
silence and what's
in your head

have you heard it lately...? he asked me,
sitting there at the bus stop
waiting for the bus

what does it sound like,
how do you describe but to compare
to others that you've heard
that are recognizable, that are defined...these
amalgams
but what is your own voice's sound?

opinions
make the world spin
spin the worlds shape
makes us know and talk of the state that it's in
but what are these but amalgams
and what is your own voice's sound?

he had a point...this man waiting with me

what is the sound
of your own voice
and what would you say if anyone listened
what if you got the 15 seconds
the moment to stick in the collective consciousnesses
what would that look like
if you could really drop a bomb
of your own thought
where is the epicenter
what would the impact
later be...

and this is the question
that the man at the bus stop
turned to ask me

so now i'm asking you
cuz each one of us should know
since we're the only thing we own
*self*
where else does revolution begin than in
*self*

so that man at the bus stop
his question ringing
as i walk thru the next hour or so

forgetting
then remembering
some time later

and thinking
since i heard of that
what had i done
what do i know moreso now
than i did before
who have i talked to
did we learn from each other
or plainly disagree
and about what...

all these questions keep coming
from that man at the bus stop
his question
lingers with me

so
i'm going into the wilderness
to find what my own voice sounds
to hear it ring
questioning still the stillness
and the only thing, my voice
because there's nothing else i own

nothing of consequence
of value
that's rare
i own nothing
but my car and guitar
a few choice books
an unfinished novel
a political uprising
some vicious passion
and a little growing zen

so i'm leaving the leaving
already left the gone
deep deep the wilderness

what when it comes out

who knows who knows

something better

something with a voice
owned

off the grid out of the net

own your own
land soul home
marketing and do.it.yourself meet in an alleyway
carrying the same sign?

a brawl ensues

later the two are held in the cell for questioning

they both tell the truth
their version of it

"no,
you're wrong" they say to each other

the detective doesn't really care and is late for dinner already

the jailor is bored and is going on strike tomorrow anyway

the judge called in sick but is on the golf course
deserves a break like any other working stiff

what did the signs say?

where can you buy them?

it's not working

taking the new video camara
the latest features
got it on sale
after thanksgiving
in order to do a documentary
on "buy-nothing day"

tight shots of the line
snaking thru stacked electronics
boxes of technological diversion
tools for...

what use these thing have
is up to us
so who are we to talk
about the failure of the dollar democracy

interviewing the woman with the full shopping cart
she yells over her fighting children about how
it seemed that the lack of advertising
hurt the campaign for "buy-nothing day"
she didn't receive anything in the mail
there were no pop-ups
no billboards

suddenly the camara quits

do i need a new tape?
lucky i'm here at the store

it'll take hours to check-out though

pouring over maps online in the library after dark

there are no 'tourist maps' of afghanistan
that i found tonight
other countries have them...have whole elaborate civic departments
and local business councils based around them...
probably along with 'tourist maps' of this city i'm in
here in the united states
of america
on this wet thanksgiving holiday
probably the public library
from where i am typing this right now,
would be listed...in the 'tourist maps'
but i couldn't find any 'tourist maps' of afghanistan

i looked at all kinds of maps tonight

maps are made by war
changed by war
lines and names and roads and religions and
languages shifted
sometimes into oblivion by
war on the people
the ones who have no defense
the country itself had promised that but crumbles
broken boundaries collapse at harsh edged borders

origin no longer safety
there and here
here and there

the old maps must be thrown away
or archived
if anyone can find a safe place to
hide
keep them for future people to know what was
what was here
before
all this
war
if enough survive

when was that time and
who remembers it
is it a myth
something that never happened
or a state we had sometime
before

give thanks what are you thankful for
the little child learns quickly of the stories
the little child begs to be one of the little 'indians' in the school play
the little child feasts
give thanks give thanks
the little child learns quickly of the stories
the little child begs for shelter to be one of the ones who stay dry
the little child starves
give thanks what are you thankful for

" the cities : blue archipelagoes "

as thirty states stand poised to rescind
the female human right
to cease pregnancy
if she so chooses
we read of mainstream voicing "secede"
which means we urban care only for urban need and turn
eyes toward our own
"fuckthesouth" is our raged saddness
throwing up the hands
why in the grand plan can't we demand both health and liberty why
are these commensensicals posited again as destructions of morality

someday those people will be
as ashamed as the white woman on the tv show
shown in a picture thirty years ago angry venom shouting
at the newly integrated student
bravely entering thru the guarded doors
her school was the first

america so new we never learn
america we don't want to leave you
but we are america
too
and you are a sea of blood around us

"die trying" to save

TARGET

IS NOT JUST

THE NAME OF A STORE THAT'S A SHORT DRIVE FROM

WHERE YOU LIVE

a lot of wars going on right now
people are dying right now, what they are being killed for and by whom

something that crosses the mind at the check out counter
when it is taking too long because the person in front is unable to locate their license
to prove who they are to the clerk who is tired...

mother and father have just heard that you were killed in battle
mother and father are gone

think
about that when you eat your next dinner in a restaurant / revolutionary rationless
(what about people are dead in the "murder capitols of the u.s.")
do you live in one of those cities yes
how many times have you seen people shot
down in front of you
heard the news
how many friends have you lost
sons brothers uncles wives sisters aunts
grandparents

war
kills
everyone
in some way

what is the opposite of war
let's do more of that

did you realize you had said that out loud?

is the clerk really calling security?
or has everyone taken up signs and left their purchases
abandoning the stunned registers...

"no superpowers...just one world"

the world...

it's a vast thing i suppose
yet who knows how foreverforever it goes
out in all directions after the curves of its surfaces
into that expanse rich eternal night of space

out there beautiful nothing of something unknown
forces beyond what our minds hands can grasp
can't get a hold of the thought really
but then
you know what it looks like
the world...
the continents
their names / states / capitols / leaders
how much do you know
do you know what grows there
what the 'average' kid eats in a day
where people meet after hours
what the rules are
perhaps who keeps the rules,
and who rules those who keep them
these are important things
to know about
the world...

plans for moving to canada...

i understand the desire, the necessity, the pragmatic truth of it
i just don't want to see you go

i don't want us to let this country
digress into further bigotry...
those ten states simply haven't come around yet,
next time, next time...
but that's old news

you want to live
an equal life
health insurance, legal representation, hospital visits
things so many here take for granted

up there they don't think its an abomination of god
that you've found the one you love